100 Reasons why Boby sucks

The way he sucks in his lips in all photos of him.

The way he acts aggresively to try and command respect from his peers.

The way he sucks up to everyone on his website

The way he dives in football.

The way he thinks he is better than everyone else and alway mocks Tom, who is actually very good.

The way he's not very good at football, but thinks he is.

The sneer he uses all the time

The way he spends over 8 hours a day on his PC even on school days, and updates his site every day

The way he will probably delete this post.

Garage Music

The way he uses Linux just to be different.

He smells

He has goofy, slack-jawed yokel-esque teeth.

The way sometimes he can have a large piece of food (like a smartie) stuck to his lip for whole days

The way he has two haircuts a year

The way whenever he gets the ball in football he pretends to pass it twice, then sneers and shakes his head, then just boots it to no-where (watch out for this fellow garage-members)

The way when Mr. Fowling asks Toby why he doesnt think he needs any help after gettin 7/30 in a french essay, he replies " I knew what I meant"

The way whenever he gets a bad mark (always) he says he expected to get two grades lower, and then acts pleased.

Whenever you get less then normal in a test, even if its more than him, he says "What went wrong".

The way he tries to make me feel guilty that I wont skip school with him.

The way his dad is a famous member of a 70's punk group and he doesnt tell anyone.

The way he eerily resembles Michael Portillo

The way he buys stuff to get people's attention, ie Laptop, Digital Camera

His popper trousers

His pykey Umbro clothes

His stick-man like anorexic physique.

The way even though he never tries at school he's the type of person that'll make loads of money making Rambios chips.

The way he pronounces Newcastle.

his Phear Factory t-shirt.

The way he cries all the time.

This is the most visited section of his site.

the way boby has a 'obnoxious advertisment' sign on most of the site but has proper ones elsewhere the hypocritical corporate whore

The way he loves dance music, though has never been clubbing.

the way this sites gone from a few pictures of miss hammonds butt to a detailed expose of toby's life, all his friends, aquaintances, geeks he knows and anyone else  knows his name.

The random photos of Toby and someone who I think is Tom (its too blurry) gokarting. Why, I ask you do we need to see this?

Allowing Boyo to screw up the number system on this craze of insulting Toby, twice I might add!

The way he takes it all [insults] on the chin/lips

The way he calls himself "webmaster" as if he's the master of the web. He is Bobes.

He does everything you ask of him for the site

his dumb job that involves him working stupid, long hours working in a pub washing dishes meaning he has enough money to

contemplate buying a jet ski despite the fact he lives hours from the coast in a country where he would only be able to use it 40 days a year as the weather is so crap

buy a pair of £100+ '3D' glasses for playing Quake3 etc witn

his cheating in french tests 

his bribing of Dan and Jack to not reveal his cheating despite the fact that they probably wouldn't anyway.  

He's never met his best friends

He refers to people by their cool hacker nickname ("I spoke to paran and he said that Uncleel said he loved me")

The way he expects you to know his online buds (toby:"Last night 3dsThomas said my lips were attractive" me: "3ds who?")

The way his ICQ list is full of dozens of people, when he only knows about 4.

The way he shows off all the time

The way he bullshits all the time

Courtesy of Jack

The way he sleeps in my lessons.

The way he lets poeple make holes in his work during my lessons.

The way he distracts Jack from me by waving his hand in front of his eyes.

Courtesy of Miss Hammond (ie Jack)

He put pics of people on his site who don't even like him (eg. Dany,Matt,hmmm, everyone?)

He has fictional friends(Jammy B, Un-cool El) and a ficitional girlfriend, "Sandra", who he fictionally dumped.

He knows nothing of popular culture.

Ph434R f2ctory Lexicon. eg. h4x0r or something

He puts pics of his house and other bizarre things on his site- does anybody really care about these or want to see them?

Lego Porn

The way he never does anything bout his dandruff problem despite the number of times people comment.

The way he tries to justify all the sucky things he does in posts

Despite the fact I'm a brilliant artist, the fact he paid me £5 for a pic of him which wasn't that great.

The way he copies every single phrase we make up eg. Yes yes yes, ACTUALLY suck, etc.

The bizarre doodles he does in his french book (Yes, even more bizarre than mine)

His bizarre snorting laugh

When he sings garage songs. This is truly bizarre and scary.

The way he bounces his head to any garage beat, kinda like the nodding dogs in the back of cars but with bigger lips.

His attempt at humour, usually directed at Tom

The way he laughs really enthusiastically at people's jokes, even if they're not funny

When he does his scary, nasal snorting laugh (variation of no. 35, but REALLY scary). Supposed to be me, I think, but surely I'm not that scary? 

The fact that he has paid good money to obtain www.boby.co.uk for what is essentially a crap site

Repeated and recycling the same unfunny jokes over and over again, and still finding them funny.

The fact he's encouraging us to find ways in which he sucks.

The garage united section - i can't wait for a mouse pad with steve's mugshot on it

Courtesy of Dan

the way he sleeps during lessons due to the previously mentioned marathon spells on the internet

The way he snores when he sleeps

the lame attempts to call his dandruff 'dry gel' even when he obviously hasn't got any styling products in his hair

the way he won't delete any message that says 'he'll probably delete this' just to spite us and make him look more tolerant and self confident

the way he'll put complete crap on his site if you just ask him nicely 

the way he makes up requests - i'm sure loads of people requested photos of his next door neighbours' cars

the way he makes you feel suicidal if you sit next to him

the way he uses smilies and tla all the time ;) 

The fact he thinks people want to ban fox hunting because foxes are occasionally portrayed as fluffy and cute in children's tv shows.

the way he's stopped posting to defend himself meaning we don't get any fresh stuff to insult him with as often as we'd like

the way he named a review a shootout when its between some laptops.

the way he's proud of the number of hits his reviews get thanks to the thousands of geeks who flock to the mecca that is 'ph34r factory'.68: the way he corrects people if they

confuse ph34r factory with 3d spotlight (as if anyone cares).

Courtesy of Boyo

His McDonald's sunglasses

His psychotic behavious when people mock him (grinning and pushing them)

His diet 

His "ratphuk" sound scheme

His written down freestyle

Courtesy of Matt

Buying computer magazines, we all know he just buys them for the 100+ pages of adverts rather than the great articles comparing Ram Bios chips!

Courtesy of FulBul

My Nerdiness

My shopping sprees on computer parts (ie I spend over £700 a year)

My living in a house made out of 400 year old animal shit

I don't follow popluar culture/films.

Confessions by your truly

He just generally sucks.

Just because

Everyone